The Heterosexual Questionnaire

Introduction

When searching on google I came across this blog and consequently, this questionnaire. I think it is hilarious, amazing, funny, and fabulous. Queer people have been asked, when they tell someone of their sexuality, “when did you know?”, “what caused it?”, and “do you think you will grow out of it?”. This questionnaire turns everything around that has traditionally been asked of queer people in society today (by anyone…even queer people ask each other these questions. I am definitely guilty of doing so.) to see how heterosexuals would answer them.

For the queer, it is hilarious, a sigh of relief, and sort of like a ha! it’s your turn fools! (that’s how I felt), but who knows, you might not like it for whatever reason, possibly that no one should be asked these questions or why we have to know in the first place where sexuality come from, but I think its interesting to consider even why we ask these questions in the first place, especially of queer people. Maybe, and probably, it’s because heterosexuality is assumed to be caused naturally and so it is assumed that queerness is not, the opposite.

In any case, this questionnaire is interesting to take a glance at.

The Questionnaire

“The Heterosexual Questionnaire was created back in 1972 to put heterosexual people in the shoes of a gay person for just a moment. Questions and assumptions made of Gays and Lesbians that are unfair, are reversed and this time asked to the straight people.

This is a fun survey, but also an activist survey. Please repost this to your email list, myspace bulletin, use it in a group setting, have fun with it but also let the point be made.

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and where did you decide you were a heterosexual?

3. Is it possible this is just a phase and you will out grow it?

4. Is it possible that your sexual orientation has stemmed from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

5. Do your parents know you are straight? Do your friends know- how did they react?

6. If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it just possible that all you need is a good gay lover?

7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality… can’t you just be who you are and keep it quiet?

8. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

9. Why do heterosexuals try to recruit others into this lifestyle?

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual… Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers?

11. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?

12. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

13. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality?

14. Considering the menace of overpopulation how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

15. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you feel that he or she might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his orher leanings?

16. There seem to very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to.

17. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?

– Martin Rochlin, Ph.D., 1972″ (http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2008/04/heterosexual-questionnaire.html)

A Response

At first, many of the bloggers who posted on this site thought this response to be a funny response (and I’m still not sure what the writer intended, though the person did write in Anonymously) and it may be, but who knows. See for yourself:

“It’s a reasonable test. Here goes…

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
A. God created human beings to be male or female as His means for them to beget children, therefore God “caused” my heterosexuality.

2. When and where did you decide you were a heterosexual?
A. During adolescence I cooperated with my innate God given heterosexuality. I detached from my mother and increasingly identified with my father and began the process of settling into the natural order of male/female heterosexuality.

3. Is it possible this is just a phase and you will out grow it?
A. Not unless male/female complementarity, marriage, and the reproductive continuation of mankind are also a “phase”

4. Is it possible that your sexual orientation has stemmed from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
A. Not unless male/female complementarity, marriage, and the reproductive continuation of mankind are now “neurotic.”

5. Do your parents know you are straight? Do your friends know- how did they react?
A. Friends know, parents know, wife knows and child knows. I can’t really say, since ordinary behaviour in the natural order of life is not something people “react” to. It just is.

6. If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it just possible that all you need is a good gay lover?
A. Not possible. The true meaning of love is the total self giving of self to the other-which means that all sexual acts are open to the creation of children. Anything else, is a counterfeit-call it like, attraction, distraction, lust-just don’t call it love as the God, the source of all earthly love intends it.

7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality… can’t you just be who you are and keep it quiet?
A. Heteronormative behaviors such as marriage and raising a family are a mirror of God’s glory-so one person’s celebration is another person’s “flaunting.”

8. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
A. A projective leading question. I think if one compares the ad content of a homosexual publication such as “the Advocate” versus a heterosexual publication such as “Parenting World” it’s clear which group emphasizes sex.

9. Why do heterosexuals try to recruit others into this lifestyle?
A. A projective leading question. Normality os not a “style.” Marriage and family are normal, and normal is that which God designed for the good of the individual and society.

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual… Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers?
A. In raw numbers, true. But false when the statistics are adjusted for incident frequency and group representation in society. According to such valid measures, gays are 40x more likely to commit a sexual offenses against a child, so it is less safe to expose children to homosexuals.

11. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?
A. Men and women can please each other perfectly because their natures complement one another. Same sex attraction amounts to a mirror of self. Because it centers on the self it is inherently narcissistic and objectifying.

12. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
A. A leading question. Divorce rates are high in secular marriages but never as high as the fleeting relationships of gay relationships or “marriage.” In Catholic marriages for example, the rate of is 200 successes to 1 failure.

13. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality?
A. Exclusive heterosexuality os God’s plan for humanity. To cooperate with God is to become a whole person.

14. Considering the menace of overpopulation how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?
A. Overpopulation is a Malthusian myth. 70% of Japan is primeval forest and unpopulated mountain ranges and yet this tiny country supports over 200 million persons comfortably.

15. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you feel that he or she might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his orher leanings?
A. Unlike same-sex attracted persons, heterosexuals don’t derive their primary identity from their sexual attraction. The risk, therefore, is minimal.

16. There seem to very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to.
Even if that were true, why exacerbate the problem? The rates of suicide, depression, substance abuse and self-harming behaviors are much higher in same-sex attracted persons.

17. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?
A. I love God, I love my wife, I love marriage and I love children. I have an aversion to therapy which questions what is normal.” (http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2008/04/heterosexual-questionnaire.html)

Conclusion

This is an interesting questionnaire to consider because of its implications and why these questions are even asked (because claiming to be queer, is well, obviously, your primary identity). It can also be a very useful tool to start a discussion among friends, peers, in a family, or in a classroom. It can lead people to question why queer people are questioned and to something more.

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Filed under Education, Humor, Sexuality

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